Is Nothing Sacred?

by Benjo

By now, you've all seen the picture of what, given Michael Phelps's lung capacity, may well have been the biggest bong rip in history.

As an outspoken critic of the war on morality, I was shocked by Phelps's conduct. He'd always struck me as a genuine guy, so it was saddening to learn that he is in fact a fraud. That he won his medals and broke his records not because he was more skilled or more prepared than his competitors, but because he was more stoned. The performance aside, though, I remember when being a role model meant something. I mean, what's next--we find out that Lance Armstrong won all those Tours de France because he was on cigarettes? It begs the question: Is nothing sacred? Is nothing true?

It is my understanding that Phelps was supposed to visit the White House soon. This provides our new president, himself a role model to so many, with an opportunity to send a powerful message to our nation's youth: if you do something so immoral, so stupid, and so destructive as smoking pot, then you will truly never succeed; instead, you will end up a washed up 23-year-old with little chance of ever winning a 15th Olympic gold medal.

We don't need junkies in the White House. Join me in calling for President Obama to disinvite Michael Phelps.